This election is so 2016

( originally posted 9/28/2016)

You know how you sometimes start a blog and then forget about it? Me, too.

I would give almost anything if we could zip through the next 6 weeks just to avoid election coverage. The first debate is tonight and it will bring out the worst in people afterwards. My candidate is awesome, yours is awful! The really jacked up folks will see an article online that says, " completely shuts down/destroys on and YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT". By the way, stop reading those. Those are what intelligent people call 'clickbait' and you're regarded as a moron for sharing it with other people. Ever have to click through twelve slides to get an answer to the question in the title? They work off of advertising hits/clicks and they're using you to do it. And if you do see someone sharing it in an email or on social media, scroll right on by. 

Election season also puts Snopes and Politifact in overdrive. I follow both of those sites and I'm always amazed at what I see. Some of the stuff they review I think, no way, nobody in their right mind would believe that. Lo and behold, it will inevitably pop up in one of my social media feeds. A tip from me to you, if you ever see a really questionable story on a web site, find the "about" section of the page. Make sure that A) it's not a satire site and B) they don't already have an agenda. I mean, teapartytakeover.com is probably not going to do a story with a positive spin on Hilary Clinton ever, but where do they get their sources? From members? Any credible news sources? 

(if you answer "well the liberal media won't report on this....", please STAAAHHP. I'm going to have to beat you with Rosie O'Donnell's leather restraints. You know what the media reports on? Whatever gets the most clicks. That's right, you may be sick of hearing about Colin Kaepernick taking a knee during the national anthem, but every time you click on the story or watch it on TV, you're telling that media conglomerate "I'm interested". That's called 'trending' and YOU are part of the problem, not the 'liberal media', dumbass)

Back to the election. My advice is this: whether you are a Republican, a Democrat, or a Libertarian (ok, OR a Green Party follower), you will want to vote along party lines. I don't understand why it's such a badge of honor to say, "I NEVER vote for a party, I vote for the candidate". Well, that's great, but there's usually a reason each candidate has a party affiliation. Because they buy into the platform of that party. Sure, they get money from the party, but they largely agree on most issues. It's called compromising (something Congress has forgotten the last six years). You may not like any candidates this year, and you wouldn't be alone. But ask yourself this - what if 15 million Americans decided not to vote this year just because they have to hold their noses to do it? Then ask yourself what would be the worst case scenario if the candidate you hate the most wins? 

Spend some time reading the party platforms, look at the history of what candidates have done in previous terms (not from what they said on TMZ) and then vote. Also, spend some time reading about your state and local elections. You'd be surprised what kind of crazy stuff gets done in local governments.

Although, Mississippi recently said slavery was bad, so kudos to their legislature for finally getting on board. 

Repost if......

I'm really tired of Facebook "friends" asking me to repost a message or picture if I'm against child abuse or breast cancer. I thought we agreed a long time ago, as a society, that those things were bayd M'kay? Rather, let's ask someone to repost if they are PRO child abuse/breast cancer, then go beat the crap outta that guy. Better yet, close out Facebook, get off your butt and go volunteer at an orphanage. I mean, since your concerned about the kids and all.
Also, drug testing every welfare recipient in this country won't save us $. It will, however, make drug testing labs very rich.
So repost if you are too lazy to look up facts or inaction suits you well.

How did we get this collectively stupid?

Georgia vs Florida

Occupy Jacksonville.

That is all.

Another Long National Nightmare OVUH!!

I have to admit, I don't really watch the NBA much, save the Atlanta Hawks. I'll turn on the finals every now and then, even if it's the Celtics/Lakers (yawn). But I am fascinated by they hype that the league generates. For what seems like six years now, Carmelo Anthony of the Denver Nuggets has been waiting to be traded. He's had his own by-line on ESPN's "bottom line" ticker since the start of the season. I'm not sure we gave this much attention to Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez.

Lucky for us, it's all over. He was traded to the Knicks in a 3-team deal. I think this is how it shakes out:

Knicks get: Carmelo Anthony, Chauncey Billups, Shelden Williams, Anthony Carter, Renaldo Balkman, Kurt Rambis, Kermit Washington, Spud Webb, an assistant coach to be named later, a trainer, two extra posse members for Amare Stoudemire, a Pepsi Center ticket taker, three parking lot attendants, a director of Sales/Marketing, and a lower level popcorn vendor with a meth problem.

Nuggets get: Wilson Chandler, Raymond Felton, Danilo Gallinari, Timofey Mozgov, Corey Brewer, $3 miilion in cash, Steve Kerr, Chris Webber, Marv Albert's stilettos from the "biting incident", a 2014 first round draft pick, two 2014 second round picks, a 2021 second round draft pick, reminders in 2013 and 2020 that they have those picks, a security guard fresh out of Alcoholics Anonymous, an A/V nerd, four cheerleaders, two pictures of Bill Bradley in tight shorts, a book containing Isiah Thomas' greatest pick up lines, and a concession stand training DVD ("Beer Doesn't Pour Itself").

Timberwolves get: Anthony Randolph, Eddie Curry, and a book titled, "How To Pick Up And Move On When You've Been Screwed In An NBA Trade"

I've only been watching Sportscenter for 15 minutes this morning and I'm already sick of it. Sports Media is SO in love with this deal. Why? Because it might make the Knicks relevant again. And nothing is so important in this world as to have the teams in New York and Los Angeles be relevant. God forbid other teams be the center of attention for one entire season.

The NBA really sucks.

Killing time while being unemployed

At some point in time, being unemployed means running out of things to do. If you're a handyman, you've probably got an endless list of projects you can work on. But if you're not (and I fall in to that category), then you have to look for things to do to avoid becoming a couch potato. Sure, you can stumble on the internet, but it becomes as mindless as watching TV. And you really don't want to be "that guy" who constantly sends links to people you know to the point that when your name is mentioned in conversation, it's in the realm of "did he send you that web site link that had a picture of a chimpanzee dancing to 'Moon River'? That was atrocious."

Anyway, last week I began volunteering at my daughter's school. The week before I ate lunch with her and noticed that some of the teachers had "lunchroom duty". Which consists of, among other things, listening to complaints, opening ketchup packs, and wiping down the tables. I don't even know when they get to eat. Never the less, I figured I can wipe tables and open ketchup packets.

Now, I know a lot of these kids since I've coached some of them in softball and soccer. I can handle those kids. But if they don't know me as 'Coach' or 'Olivia's dad', then there's going to be a period of feeling me out. I must admit, they look at me like I'm a new guard in maximum security prison. They're curious to know if I'm going to rat them out for shanking another 2nd grader. Luckily, the other teachers know which ones REALLY have to go to the bathroom and which ones are just wanting to get out into the hallway so they can slip into the laundry room and carve up a soap bar into a zip gun.

I always thought I respected teachers for their dedication and passion. My wife is a 1st grade teacher so I KNOW. Working for an hour and a half in there each day, my admiration has grown even more. Teachers are paid so low because their salaries come from public funds. I will never, EVER complain about taxes anymore - knowing that teachers must truly believe in what they're doing but we're just low-balling them.