Homophobia Gone Mad

There’s not much I can add to what Tim Hardaway said about homosexuality (when asked about former NBA player John Amaechi coming out as a gay man in the NBA). It’s been argued and argued and there’s not much chance that people will change their stance on this issue. Of course what separates this from other conversations about homosexuality is that Hardaway used the word “hate”. “I hate homosexuals” he said. He went on to say that he would avoid a gay man if he were a teammate, especially in the locker room. To me, this sums up the whole issue. Most people who believe homosexuality is wrong will point to this very argument. “Would you want a gay man in YOUR locker room, staring at you while you get undressed?” I would venture to say that most guys who could care less about someone’s sexual preference would not want to share a public shower or locker room with someone who is gay. Fair enough.

(I must add that I’ve played pick up basketball on a regular basis with a former women’s D1 player and while she is very pretty, the attraction gets lost when she’s schooling me in the lane for rebounds or stealing the ball from me).

So to follow up with the next topic, many are asked what would happen if a CURRENT NBA player admitted he was gay. Would his teammates accept him? Would they treat him with any respect?

I have a different angle. I think a gay player COULD be successful, as long as he uses it to his advantage. Like or not (and I HATE it), trash talking is a part of today’s sports culture. And out on the court, NONE of those NBA players are quiet. Imagine how a player who is gay could get under the skin of an opponent. Basketball is a VERY physical sport – body checking, elbows flying, blocking out for rebounds. Would YOU be able to concentrate if a gay player was taunting you and making you uncomfortable?

“Tough shot, sexy”

“Ooooh, you sure missed that one, sweetie”

“Honey, if you can get by me, you can HAVE the basket, but I aint’ gonna make it easy”

“I’m taking this to the basket, if you want to touch me on the way, be my guest”

“If I score 20 points tonight can I call you my bitch?”

The testosterone that it takes to play pro sports is high volume. It’s doubtful that comments like these wouldn’t make a macho player’s skin crawl, thus throwing off his game. In fact, chances are that it would make most guys go crazy and draw a few technical fouls. And of course, two of those and you’re out of the game. Football, baseball, this principle could apply in any sport.

There is the argument that teammates of a gay player would be really uncomfortable with that kind of talk. Please. Did Terrell Owens’ teammates put up with him as long as he was scoring touchdowns? Did the Atlanta Braves deal with John Rocker when he was saving all those games? Barry Bonds? Dennis Rodman? The answer is yes. I’m not saying that Joe Macho wouldn’t have some reservations about sharing a locker space with a gay teammate. But most heterosexual men make the mistake of assuming that all gay men are checking them out. Stop flattering yourself. I just don’t think that’s true. I don’t think that homosexual men are any more ‘sex hungry’ than heteros. The notion that a gay man in a locker room is a kid in a candy store who doesn’t know where to begin is ludicrous.

The simple fact is that homosexuality is here to stay. I truly believe that people are born gay. That seems to be the main sticking point in whether or not someone accepts homosexuality. But remember this, if it DOES bother you that someone is gay, or wants to have a gay relationship (or get married), chances are that you think of them as a gay first. Just as many still think of some people as black first. It’s the first thing you think about when you deal with them. And you already have all of your preconceived notions up and running that could get in the way of your relationship with them. Notions that they could, in fact, use against you.

Are you a cynic? Then think of it the way Dennis Miller did. “Why despise someone on the basis of color or sexual orientation when, if you take the time to get to know them, you can find SO many other reasons to hate them?”

Political Correctness or Decency?

This argument is going to be more prevalent in the next few years, so it’s time for you to decide where you stand on this. Recently, Connecticut passed a bill that would penalize high school football coaches whose teams win by more than fifty points. The idea was born out of a problem between two coaches there, one who complained about another running up the score (keep on scoring even after the game’s outcome has reasonably been decided). There is a gentleman’s rule in most sports to “call off the dogs”, meaning that if it’s obvious that your team is going to win, you’re not going to go balls out and make a mockery of the game. To be honest, this is not really a problem in the professional ranks. If it’s clear that the Dolphins are going to beat the Saints easily, the coach is probably going to take out his starters (typically the best players) so they won’t get hurt in a meaningless play, and put in the back up players to get experience. College sports are a little different. Some football teams still run up the score for different reasons. If a team hasn’t beaten a rival in a long time, they may want to “send a message”. Some college coaches are trying to make a statement to those who vote on the rankings and a good beating will sometimes do that.

I personally like the rule that Connecticut instituted. And please, before you judge me, let me present the other side of the argument. Many “A” type personality people will counter with this argument: ‘If you’re not going to play to win, why are you playing’. I think that’s a very valid argument. And believe me, there are times I feel this way. In the above paragraph, when I talked about calling off the dogs, I had a tough time finishing the sentence, “meaning that if it’s obvious that your team is going to win, you’re not going to……”. What is appropriate word for QUITTING? But if the point is truly to win the game every single time, and you’ve already accomplished that, why risk injury to your players by running up the score? And how would you feel if it happened to you? A little background on me – I was never the one sitting on the bench. I have played on teams that won and teams that lost. I was the type of player who made the all-star team, but wasn’t the best one on THAT team. So don’t assume that I’m a non-athletic, liberal pansy who’s out to make everyone happy.

My BIGGEST problem is that the “win at all costs” attitude has permeated youth recreational sports. I talk to people who feel that if you suck at baseball, you shouldn’t go out for the team. One guy actually said, “If you can’t stand sitting on the bench, go take up piano”. Nice. So, children’s organized sports are now only for the talented. I guess if the less talented kids want to play organized sports they’ll have to go start their own league. Maybe get some umpires, uniforms, the whole bit. Um, wait. Isn’t that what we already have?

Listen, if you’re kid is a phenomenal athlete, good for you. If he or she is level-headed then they will shine throughout school and beyond. A ten-year old soccer league is not the time for them to exercise their dominance over other ten-year olds. It’s a time to learn how to play the game, how to be a teammate, and how sports relate to life. And let’s face it, for many kids, high school is the last true good time of our lives.