Every once in awhile, you have to get some stuff off your chest. Today is that day.
Manny Ramirez was suspended 50 games by Major League Baseball for a failed drug test on May 7th. As I understand it, he had something in his system that is known to help you “come down” after taking steroids for an extended period – yet it’s a women’s fertility drug. I don’t completely get it and don’t care. He took something he wasn’t supposed to, came up with a lame excuse as to why, and has to sit out until July 3rd. Or does he?
Yet yesterday, Ramirez started his “rehab” assignment in Albuquerque, NM, the Dodgers’ Triple-A affiliate.. Now typically, rehab assignments (when major league players are sent to the minor leagues) are for those times when a player has been on the disabled list, and needs to ease back into the job. If he’s suspended, why does he get to play at all? Why should he be able to “ease back into the job” if he was using a banned substance – one that follows a performance enhancing drug? I’m sure this is just something that MLB Players Union Prez Donald Fehr had written in their contracts. Way to teach ‘em a lesson, Don. And so long.
Let me explain that I do not watch Jon & Kate Plus Eight. I never have. I’m only familiar with it because the trials and tribulations of this family pound the media like a gulf coast hurricane. Go to the front page of any news channel online and BOOM, I guarantee you, Jon or Kate are there. I’m not sure it’s ever been this heightened before with family reality shows. I really don’t remember seeing the news THAT saturated with the Osbornes. But regardless, we seem to be fascinated with the Gosselins.
And now they are splitting up.
REALLY? You whored your children out to national TV for money, enjoying the voyeuristic tendencies of those who love to see bad things happen to other people (face it, why else do you watch reality shows?), and then thought you could sneak around on your wife – even though you knew the cameras would still be rolling? OMG, are you that stupid? I don’t feel sorry for either one of them. I feel sorry for those kids. For the rest of their lives, they will be known as “one of the eight”. And they will be reminded that, for a wad of cash, their parents allowed cameras to capture the slow destruction of whatever family bond they had. You may think Kate is a bitch and that Jon is a bad father. But the clue was there long before they split up. It was evident the moment they signed the contract to allow cameras in their home.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Trophies For Everyone - is that REALLY the problem?
It finally happened. I read the quote that sent me over the edge. It’s very trendy to bash Millenials and their narcissism. I’m not a Millenial and quite frankly, I don’t know where I stand on that issue, but one of the arguments people use when discussing what’s wrong with today’s kids is that “everyone gets a trophy” and that’s not the way it was in the good old days. Associate Professor of Psychology Jean M. Twenge, PhD (San Diego State University) and author of The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement (Free Press, 2009) and Generation Me: Why Today’s Young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled – And More Miserable Than Ever Before (Free Press, 2006), says, “The problem is that the way parents and teachers and media teach self-esteem often crosses into narcissism. Getting a trophy for showing up doesn’t build self-esteem; it gives you the idea that you are fantastic for doing nothing.”
Bullbutter.
That makes my skin crawl. Twenge and others just don’t get it.
Let me try to frame my side and why I don’t think sports is the reason that kids are narcissistic. I coach recreational sports for my kids. They have both played softball and soccer and they do it because they like it, as best I can tell. The idea behind Recreational Clubs hosting sporting leagues is to encourage kids to do physical activity AS A TEAM. I think we’re all better served when we can get kids off the couch and engage in outdoor activity that requires running, stretching and jumping. So every kid who lives within a certain jurisdiction would be able to sign up, pay a fee and be able to participate in organized sports. Let me say this about myself. As a kid, I was a better than average athlete in most of the sports I played. Let’s just say that I could make the All-star teams, but probably wouldn’t start once I did. So I don’t remember ever “trying out” and not making it. But if my memory serves me correctly, everyone got to play a minimum (when I was 12, the minimum for baseball was seven innings – per year). Keep in mind, this was before AAU basketball and travel groups began to dominate the landscape like they do today. You paid your money, you got to play. You got a couple of unpaid, but passionate coaches who did their best to teach the finer points of the game to you. But the hidden benefit in recreational sports has always been the team-building. When everyone played, each child could only benefit from the other kids getting better. There was no sitting back and thinking, “Geez, I can’t wait until the coach takes this loser out so we can win”. All the things that go unnoticed in the game – high fives, cheers on the bench, pats on the back – these are things that some kids remember the most. They are a part of a team, something that a majority of the kids will remember long past their playing days.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Once All-star season starts, it’s a different game. Only the best players play. I know…..I sat on the bench a lot during all star season. Of course I thought I was better than most, but who didn’t? The reality was that I wasn’t better. But all star season is a BONUS.
I once got into an argument with someone online (I know, I know, hence the problem) about the merits of everyone playing in recreation sports. He thought that there should be tryouts, and if you were no good, then you’d have to go learn to play the piano. I see. So, if Eugene Ivorytickler wants to play organized baseball, he has to be good enough first? Ok, then maybe what Eugene and all the other “nerds” should do is start their own league. One where everyone can play, regardless. Oh, wait……….THEY ALREADY HAVE THAT LEAGUE. What a stupid thing to say, “go learn to play piano”. Here’s a kid who wants to be a part of the team, wants to do some physical activity, and this online guy wants to establish the boundaries of Nerd/Jock six years before high school starts. Yeah, that won’t come back to haunt someone.
Back to Twenge’s statement. Giving out a participation trophy (yeah, that’s what I call it), doesn’t tell a kid they are fantastic for doing nothing. It tells them that they started something and finished it. You’re telling me that giving everyone a trophy is seriously going to train them to expect something in return for nothing for the rest of their life? Sorry, I don’t buy it. To the kid who is the best player on the team, he takes away this – “Hey, thanks, you really carried us”. To the kid who still can’t catch a fly ball it says, “Hey, thanks for sticking with it”. You know why? Because that’s what the parents tell them. Remember the good old days, when you had to be good? How many bench warmers were teased and bullied because they sucked at baseball – and never came back? Does that resentment linger? If you answer no, you are just kidding yourself. Go to your high school reunion, wait for the alcohol to kick in and listen to what people are saying. People harbor childhood resentment for a long, long time. Not only that, but the kid who was stuck in right field the whole season is not coming back – he’s not learning a thing, except that the superstar center fielder can also cover right field. Having been a decent athlete, I don’t remember being bullied. But I pray to God that I never did that to anyone. Recreation sports has always been about team-building, bonding, and physical activity. In that order. Taking that away f
You think your kid is a star and deserves to be surrounded by top notch players and you shouldn’t have to put up with sitting next to Mr & Mrs Ivorytickler? Good for you, but two things. One, if you’re hitching your wagon to your kid getting a sports scholarship you should know that there are more academic scholarships available than athletic scholarships. Where are your priorities, anyway? EVERY parent thinks there kid is special. Yours is really no different. Two, you got your way. Travel baseball, soccer, etc. is now available for the best players. You pay your money (a LOT of money) and you travel around and play the best from other areas, sometimes three or four hours away. The guy who used to coach recreation ball for free went out and got some kind of license and you’re now paying him, albeit for his undivided attention. So good for you for getting what you want. However, after having just completed my first year of travel soccer, I must tell you a secret. Travel ball has grown so much that it’s watered down. Travel clubs that make commitments now have to fill out rosters. Rosters of people who pay between $500 and $2000 per season. So while you may have gotten rid of those annoying, always-encouraging, happy-go-lucky Ivorytickler nerd parents, you’ve also eliminated those kids from the “other side of the tracks” who can’t afford to do travel ball. Now you tell me, are the best still playing?
Bullbutter.
That makes my skin crawl. Twenge and others just don’t get it.
Let me try to frame my side and why I don’t think sports is the reason that kids are narcissistic. I coach recreational sports for my kids. They have both played softball and soccer and they do it because they like it, as best I can tell. The idea behind Recreational Clubs hosting sporting leagues is to encourage kids to do physical activity AS A TEAM. I think we’re all better served when we can get kids off the couch and engage in outdoor activity that requires running, stretching and jumping. So every kid who lives within a certain jurisdiction would be able to sign up, pay a fee and be able to participate in organized sports. Let me say this about myself. As a kid, I was a better than average athlete in most of the sports I played. Let’s just say that I could make the All-star teams, but probably wouldn’t start once I did. So I don’t remember ever “trying out” and not making it. But if my memory serves me correctly, everyone got to play a minimum (when I was 12, the minimum for baseball was seven innings – per year). Keep in mind, this was before AAU basketball and travel groups began to dominate the landscape like they do today. You paid your money, you got to play. You got a couple of unpaid, but passionate coaches who did their best to teach the finer points of the game to you. But the hidden benefit in recreational sports has always been the team-building. When everyone played, each child could only benefit from the other kids getting better. There was no sitting back and thinking, “Geez, I can’t wait until the coach takes this loser out so we can win”. All the things that go unnoticed in the game – high fives, cheers on the bench, pats on the back – these are things that some kids remember the most. They are a part of a team, something that a majority of the kids will remember long past their playing days.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Once All-star season starts, it’s a different game. Only the best players play. I know…..I sat on the bench a lot during all star season. Of course I thought I was better than most, but who didn’t? The reality was that I wasn’t better. But all star season is a BONUS.
I once got into an argument with someone online (I know, I know, hence the problem) about the merits of everyone playing in recreation sports. He thought that there should be tryouts, and if you were no good, then you’d have to go learn to play the piano. I see. So, if Eugene Ivorytickler wants to play organized baseball, he has to be good enough first? Ok, then maybe what Eugene and all the other “nerds” should do is start their own league. One where everyone can play, regardless. Oh, wait……….THEY ALREADY HAVE THAT LEAGUE. What a stupid thing to say, “go learn to play piano”. Here’s a kid who wants to be a part of the team, wants to do some physical activity, and this online guy wants to establish the boundaries of Nerd/Jock six years before high school starts. Yeah, that won’t come back to haunt someone.
Back to Twenge’s statement. Giving out a participation trophy (yeah, that’s what I call it), doesn’t tell a kid they are fantastic for doing nothing. It tells them that they started something and finished it. You’re telling me that giving everyone a trophy is seriously going to train them to expect something in return for nothing for the rest of their life? Sorry, I don’t buy it. To the kid who is the best player on the team, he takes away this – “Hey, thanks, you really carried us”. To the kid who still can’t catch a fly ball it says, “Hey, thanks for sticking with it”. You know why? Because that’s what the parents tell them. Remember the good old days, when you had to be good? How many bench warmers were teased and bullied because they sucked at baseball – and never came back? Does that resentment linger? If you answer no, you are just kidding yourself. Go to your high school reunion, wait for the alcohol to kick in and listen to what people are saying. People harbor childhood resentment for a long, long time. Not only that, but the kid who was stuck in right field the whole season is not coming back – he’s not learning a thing, except that the superstar center fielder can also cover right field. Having been a decent athlete, I don’t remember being bullied. But I pray to God that I never did that to anyone. Recreation sports has always been about team-building, bonding, and physical activity. In that order. Taking that away f
You think your kid is a star and deserves to be surrounded by top notch players and you shouldn’t have to put up with sitting next to Mr & Mrs Ivorytickler? Good for you, but two things. One, if you’re hitching your wagon to your kid getting a sports scholarship you should know that there are more academic scholarships available than athletic scholarships. Where are your priorities, anyway? EVERY parent thinks there kid is special. Yours is really no different. Two, you got your way. Travel baseball, soccer, etc. is now available for the best players. You pay your money (a LOT of money) and you travel around and play the best from other areas, sometimes three or four hours away. The guy who used to coach recreation ball for free went out and got some kind of license and you’re now paying him, albeit for his undivided attention. So good for you for getting what you want. However, after having just completed my first year of travel soccer, I must tell you a secret. Travel ball has grown so much that it’s watered down. Travel clubs that make commitments now have to fill out rosters. Rosters of people who pay between $500 and $2000 per season. So while you may have gotten rid of those annoying, always-encouraging, happy-go-lucky Ivorytickler nerd parents, you’ve also eliminated those kids from the “other side of the tracks” who can’t afford to do travel ball. Now you tell me, are the best still playing?
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