Double backlash

Please understand that I know I’m petty. I know that I think things I shouldn’t, but here’s the deal. So do you. Yes, you do.

I’m ready for double backlash. Backlash has passed us by, and I’m tired of it. A backlasher is someone who antagonizes popular notions, people and hotbed stories by degrading them. You know the guy I’m talking about. He buys the newest form of technology as soon as it’s available, then when the next generation comes out he’s trashing the first thing he bought. He points out how bad the #1 song on the Billboard chart is. He wants you to understand just how hip he is, how anti-culture he is. He should have a t-shirt that says, “Please listen to me, I’m lonely.”
Understand that this is not an indictment of someone who doesn’t like everything popular, but of those who go out of their way to ruin it for everyone else.

Examples of backlash:
Hating the hot new TV show (Friends, Desperate Housewives, etc)
Parents hating that their kids love Barney
Making fun of Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, or any cute pop singer
Complaining about Mexicans taking all of our jobs in the US
Stating that you knew Lance Bass of NSync was gay
Repeating the story you heard about a guy who bought some groceries with food stamps and then got into his brand new Mercedes Benz.
Shouting above the music that Van Halen was better with David Lee Roth
People who complain about children in restaurants and airplanes.
White, male Christians who are “persecuted”.

You know what the problem is? Backlash people generally have more than a few mean bones in their body. Nice people don’t spend time on double backlash. I’d like to be that spokesperson.

So here’s a few things I’D like to see:
Barney pimp-slapping a soccer mom and leaving a dent in her minivan.
Britney Spears telling Kid Rock “You know what? You’re right. I lip sync cutesy pop songs and you’re ugly. But I can always write different songs, you skank”
Someone using food stamps at the grocery store, then turning around to everyone who was staring at them in line to say, “Don’t worry. I’m walking home, bitch!”
A three year old taking a dump on the lap top of the business traveler who insists on taking up three chairs at the Airport.

That’s double backlash and I’m ready for it.

Regular season wrap up

Ok, so we ended up 8-4. Many Dawg fans predicted as such, but probably had our losses dispersed differently. Me, I'm not sure I'm over losing to Vandy AND Kentucky in the same year. I will say that QB Matt Stafford has finally come around. The future looks pretty bright for the next few years (Holy crap, I sound like a South Carolina Gamecock fan!!!). But we laid an ass-whoopin on Auburn (who was ranked #5 at the time) and game back and beat the Nerds for the 6th straight time.

Anywho, we play Virginia Tech in the Chick Fil A Peach Bowl on 12/30 in Atlanta. This is, of course, God's way of getting back at me. You see, I live in Roanoke, Va - about 30 minutes from Blacksburg (home of the Virginia Tech Hokies). Believe it or not, Roanoke is the biggest town around Blacksburg. They have to come HERE to get their freak on. Anyway, I have to listen to these nitwits day in and day out talk about their Hokies. Don't get me wrong, they have a terrific football team now, but their glorious football tradition is about 10 minutes old. They had this QB named Michael Vick in 1999 and EVER since then, they've acted like they are perennial contenders. I just think they are Johnny-come-latelys. I mean, they didn't know how to tailgate until LSU showed them how back in 2002. Seriously. If you are a fan of a particular team, but you live in the heartland of another team, you know what I mean when I say I CAN'T STAND IT ANY MORE.

Now, I'm not making a prediction on the game. I could see it going either way. Both teams are on an upswing. But if we lose to VA Tech ........well, I think I'm going to have to move. My car, my house, my clothes, my cell phone ringtone - all Georgia Bulldog tinted. I guess I set myself up for that, huh?

Sidenote: QB race rerevisited

I am completely alone. I realize that. I must be the only person who thinks that Matthew Stafford is not the second coming of Jesus Christ.
Even opposing fans are saying, "Whoa, that guy's going to be great one day." Granted I'm not a football guru, but I have yet to see what everyone else sees. But he's the starter now, so let's update:

Game Five vs Ole Miss - Another game we should have lost. Joe Cox started, but Stafford finished. I think we all knew that would happen. Also, I remember reading from some pretty smart Dawg fans that we were in real trouble for the year.

Game Six vs Tennessee - Though we were up 24-7 with about two minutes to go in the 1st half, we wound up losing 51-33. Second biggest ASS-whoopin ever laid on the Dawgs at Sanford Stadium. Joe Tereshinski started this game (back fresh from his ankle injury), however it wouldn't have mattered if Brett Favre was the QB - we just could not stop them from moving the ball. Erik Ainge had his coming out party. Matthew Stafford was given some mop up duty their at the end ( 2 of 5 for 11 yards, 1 int), but I'm not sure why. Joe T wasn't awful, but it became apparent that even his great senior leadership was not going to do special things for this team.

Game Seven vs Vanderbilt - this is the game when things stated to get ugly. Joe T started and had (again) DECENT numbers (11of 17, 151 yards, 1 TD), but lacking the ability to have sustained drives has really started to expose some weaknesses in our defense, mainly because they are out there on the field way too long. This loss must have stuck in Richt's head because he named Stafford the starter two days later.

Game Eight vs Mississippi State - Another game, more mediocre play against an inferior opponent. I guess Richt has decided to stick with Stafford from here on out. Maybe Cox is just not cutting it in practice, maybe he sees that Stafford is really going to be da bomb one day ('cause he sure ain't now), but he's it for the rest of the year. Stafford still slings the ball around (20 of 32, 267 yards, 2 TD, 3 int) and though everybody says he has a lively arm, that "gun" doesn't seem to have any control.

Game Nine vs Florida - I was lucky enough to attend this in person. I thought we would get taken to the woodshed, but it was a close game until the last minute. Stafford was 13 of 33, 151 yards and 2 INT. These are the stats of the greatest Georgia recruit since Hershel Walker. Now I will tell you that I distinctly remember Mohamed Massaquoi having one drop and Martrez Milner having THREE drops. But take those away and he's still 13 of 29. Wonderboy, huh?

Game Ten vs Kentucky - We just lost this hours ago. I'm surprised I'm not back on the wagon. Stafford was 16 of 28, 230 yards, 1 TD, 3 INT. Last year right after the SEC Championship game, Coach Richt made mention that rebuilding this year would be harder than rebuilding last year. We just didn't believe him, did we?
For the year, Stafford is 96 of 186 for 1230 yards with 4 TD's and 12 INT's. Any questions as to who's heading up the turnover brigade?

Well, it doesn't matter, Stafford is it for the rest of the year. My only hope is that playing so much this year benefits him, and by him I mean US, next year. Blake Barnes has gone awol, maybe Joe Cox will give him a run in the spring.
I just gotta say it one more time - Joe Tereshinski, III was and is a DAMN GOOD DAWG!!!

Game Twelve: Revenge of the Nerds?

November 25^th

Vs Georgia Tech

Ask a Georgia fan to say one word about the Georgia Institute of Technology and you’ll likely get one word – Nerds. Or NATS (North Avenue Trade School). Or Yechs. Ok, so there’s no shortage of names to call those guys. What makes the last few years so interesting about this in-state rivalry is not that the Dawgs have won the past five. It’s that the Nerds, er, the Yellowjackets had won the previous three before then, yet had to “vacate” the wins because they played ineligible players. So truly, the last time Tech beat us was in 1990. That was the year they won the National Champ………I’m sorry, that was the year they won the CO-National Championship.

This year the game could go either way. Seems like Coach Chan Gailey over there has figured out how to win some big games. Well actually, he’s already done that (Auburn, Miami), but now he’s figured out how not to lose the ones he shouldn’t. Tech has an all-world receiver in Calvin Johnson. Even the sorriest of quarterbacks can get the ball to this guy. He’ll be playing on Sunday next year. But their defense keeps getting better and better and better. The only reason I like the Dawgs this year is that the game is at home and we have our only open date before this game. Two weeks to heal and strategize. Or, two weeks to lay around and get stale.

I’ll tell you one thing. Georgia fans sure will miss Tech QB Reggie Ball. He’s basically GIVEN us two games and was ineffective in the other. Does being a senior allow him to finally develop his leadership on the field? Does being a senior give him the experience to not make the mistakes that he’s made in the past? Who knows, but I’d rather stick 3 guys on Calvin than 2 guys on Reggie.

Am I optimistic? Yes. But the Dawgs have lost quite a few games that they shouldn’t have because the other team wanted it more. I just feel like it’s our turn. I’m sure Tech feels like it’s their turn, too. But to quote Bernie Casey in “Revenge Of The Nerds”:

“…..but I feel that I must tell you, you have very little chance. I mean, after all……you’re nerds”

Tom Glavine

Earlier this month, Tom Glavine won his 14th postseason game before the Mets bowed to the Cardinals in the NLCS. If I was a hitter in the majors, it would drive me absolutely nuts to watch him pitch day after day. He doesn’t throw high cheese, he doesn’t have one of those roundhouse curve balls. What he has is smarts.

Janurary 1991, Atlanta, GA. My college roommate was working as an intern for the Atlanta Braves. He invited me and my fiancé to a dinner honoring Legendary Brave Dale Murphy. Dale is my 2nd favorite Brave ever (The Hammer, to answer your question). Before the dinner started, my buddy pointed out a guy and said, “That’s Tom Glavine, they say he’ll be a pretty good pitcher for the Braves one day.” I distinctly remember looking at him; he wasn’t much bigger than I was. Most of these other players seemed huge (Murphy for one, who posed for a picture with me). After surveying Glavine, I thought to myself, “Man, I could take him……….”

Fifteen years later, many a batter has watched Glavine on the mound and thought the same thing. And most of them were as wrong as I was.

When Hell ain't enough

After the horrific events that have taken place the last couple of weeks, we begin to look for relief. Parents shooting their kids, adults shooting up schools, crazies cutting babies out of women……..this constant barrage of evil begins to sap the happiness right out of us.

So here’s what I do.

I like to imagine that even hell has standards. Much in the way that many of us imagine that St Peter is waiting on us at the gates of heaven to “confirm” our arrival, I imagine that Satan, Jr. is down below at the ‘Lake of Fire’ entrance to greet those who have ensured themselves a spot in eternal damnation. There will be a few who pass without incident. Lots of lawyers, a few referees, and that guy who invented artificial turf. But when that dude shows up and says, “Uh, yeah, I just shot 8 little Amish girls…..”. I would imagine Satan’s response is something like this:

“Oh SNAP!!! That was YOU? Damn, man, what’s WRONG with you? Holy crap, you’re gonna have to go sit by Hitler and McVeigh. Eight Amish girls, man, you must really be a special kind of prick.”

“Well, at first I was just going to molest them, but…”

“WHOA WHOA WHOA…you were going to MOLEST Amish kids? Ok, right away, I can tell you that you don’t get any porn privileges…..Geez Lou-ise, what is goin ON up there on earth? HEY! Bin Laden!!! Dude, I know you haven’t been here long, but will you show this asshole around? No, he doesn’t get anything to drink or any shoes, let his feet melt first, and give him an iPod loaded with Yoko Ono's Greatest Hits………”

Sorry. It’s the only solace I can get.

Game Eleven: Almost Home

November 11^th

Vs. Auburn University (Auburn, AL)

Man. Where do I begin. How about this. I think this will be our other loss this year. Let me just lay that out there. And the last time we lost three in a row to Auburn was ’99-’01. So get these stats:

Overall record against Auburn: 48-53-8

Total aggregate score: 1648-1650

Record @ home: 9-19

Record @ Auburn: 12-9-2

Record @ neutral sites: 27-26-6

Most amazing to me is that the UGA/Auburn rivalry is the oldest one in the deep south (they’ve been playing since 1892) and after all those years, TWO POINTS separate the total scores. Also, the visiting team has had the edge for a while.

Having said all that, Auburn is just really strong this year. Brandon Cox has developed into a really solid QB, though he’s gone largely unnoticed. Their defense is extremely fast and they have a running back, Kenny Irons (from Georgia, no less), who is a workhorse. I could go on and on about their talent. And hey, it’s not that the Dawgs don’t have talent either, but almost all of Auburn’s positions have definite answers. The Dawgs have questions at QB, receivers, and the secondary. We MAY have answers at those positions. We MAY not. So, while I don’t look for the humiliation that many are predicting, I think the rivalry keeps it close. The depth at the positions keeps it close. Coaching keeps it close (though I can’t STAND Tommy Stupidville, er, Tuberville). But the Tigers’ starting line up on both sides of the ball is worth at least an extra ten points. They are not struggling at any phase of the game right now. We are. The only way the Dawgs pull this one out is by playing the game of their lives. And by the time this game rolls around, the Tigers will be able to smell the national championship trophy. Seeing as how they got screwed two years ago, they are going to be on a mission.

Sidenote: QB Race Revisited

Well the Dawgs are 4-0. Just barely. I’m not going to recap each game in detail, but here’s a brief wrap up:

Vs Western Kentucky, 48-12, they did what they were supposed to do.

Vs South Carolina, 18-0, turns out, South Carolina ain’t that good.

Vs U of Alabama-Birmingham, 34-0, turns out the Dawgs defense IS pretty good

Vs Colorado,14-13, Dawgs win a game that they absolutely deserved to lose. Turns out Matthew Stafford is truly a freshman

With Joe Tereshinski being sidelined 3-6 weeks with an ankle sprain sustained in the South Carolina game, Georgia went with uber-talented freshman Stafford to run the show. While he was not spectacular, he was not awful. The O-line still breaks down for him, and the wide receivers still drop passes for him. Luckily, our schedule was setting up nicely for him to ride a learning curve until a big game (i.e. Tennessee). He had a good showing against South Carolina and UAB, but the performance was ineffective vs. Colorado. Ultimately, down 13-0 against winless Colorado, Coach Richt felt he had to replace Stafford. Enter Joe Cox (former wonder boy before Stafford showed up) and he goes 10 of 13 for 153 yards with 2 TD’s. Just as people said that the team “perked up” when Stafford relieved Tereshinski a few weeks ago, so too did the Dawgs perk up when Cox came in on Saturday. I never thought I’d say this, but I feel somewhat bad for Stafford. Sure, he didn’t make a lot of reads and check offs, but it’s not his fault that our receivers have rubber hands. The silver lining in all this is that what we suspected is right - we are fairly deep at the QB position. But the fact is that the starting position is still up for grabs and it only gets more convoluted when Tereshinski comes back next week. And he’s not going to go quietly.

You know, if you didn’t have a man crush on DJ Shockley this time last year, you just can’t call yourself a fan.

Game Ten: Feelin the Blues

November 4^th

Vs. University of Kentucky (Lexington, KY)

Seriously, when you think of sports at Kentucky, what do you think of? Basketball? You’re such a liar. You think of Ashley Judd. Yeah. Me, too. But then I think of her sitting in the STANDS watching basketball. Then I think of her playing Marilyn Monroe and……………..well, THAT’S a good thought. Where was I?. No one has noticed recently, but Kentucky does field a football team. Ever since the Bluegrass miracle, the wind has been taken out of their sails (drifting back to thoughts of Ashley Judd on a boat…..).

Let’s be honest. Kentucky is in a real funk right now. Last year they had a slew of injuries that just wasn’t fair. I don’t remember the stats, but I believe that every member of their 1^st and 2^nd string units were injured at least 6 times during the season. I’m pretty sure they played Vanderbilt with 8 offensive players. But no one has accused them of giving up or quitting on their coach. To me, they seem like the type of guys who would crawl out on the gridiron even if they had no fingers or toes. They have a guy named Rafael Little who is going to do some damage to other teams all by himself. Little returns punts, runs, blocks, catches out of the backfield, tapes ankles, takes tickets, directs game day traffic, and feeds stats to the announcer. But sadly, if Rich Brooks doesn’t win, he’s probably going to be toast. Is it fair? No. But it’s reality. I don’t see anything so far that leads me to believe that Kentucky can beat the Dawgs, even in Lexington. What I find most interesting about this game is that, as usual, it’s sandwiched between the Florida and Auburn games. Sooner or later, this will be the “letdown” game. But not this year. This will just be a warm up for the trip to Cowtown, er, I mean Auburn.

I sure hope we’ve settled on a QB by then…………….. I wonder what Ashley is doing?

Game Nine: The Border War

October 28^th

Vs. University of Florida (Jacksonville, FL)

Quick history lesson for Georgia vs the Florida Gators. Georgia leads the series all time 46-36-2. That’s what a Dawg fan will tell you. Only, it doesn’t seem that way because the Gators have won 14 of the last 16. And the game is played in Jacksonville, which is a “neutral” site (meaning it is neither team's home field). Most of that dominance was brought on by Steve Spurrier. But even after he left in 2001, we’ve only beaten them once in four years. I think those are the losses that frustrate most fans because those games from 2002-2005 were winnable. Now, to boost our pride we Dawg fans like to remind ourselves that we’ve played in the SEC Championship Game three out the last five years, and the Gators have played in zero out of the last five. So when a jean short wearin Gator likes to point out there recent dominance, ask them to show you a SEC ring from this century. Despite the average Georgia fan telling you that they’d trade a Florida loss for an SEC Championship every year, I’m calling double BS on that. When you get dominated by a team because they’re just better all the time, that’s one thing. But losing to an equal or lesser team again and again and again………..simply maddening. Down in the cockles of the heart of every Dawg fan burns the desire to shut these Johnny-come-lately, we-had-Spurrier, trailer trash rednecks up. Whoops, did I say that out loud? See, the bar has been raised. We want to have our cake and eat it too. We want to beat Florida, win the SEC, and hoist the national championship trophy.

So anyway, Quarterback Chris Leak heads up the Gator offense. I don’t care what anyone says, Leak is a damn fine college quarterback and will be an even better pro QB. Gator fans who make fun of him should have their mullets shaved. Head Coach Urban Meyer begins his second year down there. If I have to hear one more time how successful he has been in the second year of wherever he goes, I think I’ll scream. If Florida is better, it will because Leak has three years of experience, their defensive line is solid, and they have a slew of talented receivers, headed by Dallas Baker and Andre Caldwell, not because Meyer is a genius. Even Meyer himself said he couldn’t believe how fast the SEC defenses were (compared to where he coached before), so my feeling is that he knows he’s been neutralized.

So even though I love our defense, even though the Gators seemingly have no running game, even though I think our QB play will be more impressive than last year’s Florida game, and even though they lost a lot on their offensive line…………you see where I’m going with this? As much as I hate it, I don’t think we beat the Gators this year. This will be our 9^th straight game and I think that will have much to do with it.

Here’s hoping that Coach Richt proves me wrong. I’m going to the corner to pout.

Relax, boys. We’ve got Kentucky next week.

Game Eight: Identity Crisis

October 21st
vs Mississippi State University (Athens, GA)

Ever listen to a psychologist talk about "finding yourself"? Is there a more annoying phrase than that? Well, ok, "two wrongs don't make a right" gets under my skin. Maybe I'm a meathead, maybe I've just been fortunate enough to have a pretty solid head on my shoulders, but I've never had to "find myself" (though I have woken up in the morning and wondered where the hell I am).
On Saturday 10/21, the Georgia Bulldogs will have to do just that - find themselves. Number one, the "other" Bulldogs of Mississippi State come rolling into town. Number two, this will be the second to last game that we are expected to win. MSU Coach Sylvester Croom is itchin to make strides on the field, he's certainly cleaned up that program off the field. At some point, they will want a better rally cry than "We got Ron Zook fired!" They would LOVE to pull an upset, especially if our loss column reads "1" or "0" (By the way, their quarterback's name is Henig, shown above. I don't want to hear anyone else make fun of "Tereshinski".) The other identity issue is that by now, our QB situation should be completely settled (except for the Second Guesser's Club) and most of us will be wondering what the fuss was all about. As the wear and tear of the season goes on and injuries take their toll, back-ups become heroes and other teams start to see that there is no such thing as being "too deep" at any position. Five straight stellar recruiting classes is paying off. Starting middle linebacker gets hurt? Plug in a blue chip recruit. All three running backs are banged up? Send in Mr. New Jersey. The Dawg's depth is what will beat Mississippi State, only because they haven't had that luxury yet.
Oh, and rest up this week. Next Saturday is the World's Largest Outdoor Anti-Michael Adams Rally.

Game Seven: Dawg Days

October 14^th

Vs. Vanderbilt (Athens, GA)

Ok, so the Dawgs record could be 6-0 by now. Or it could be 3-3. Regardless of our record, here’s what the environment in Athens will hold. The injury bug will have bitten, NFL Draft Analyst Mel Kiper will be raving about defensive end Quentin Moses, and if you’ve watched a UGA game on TV for the first time, you will eventually have a dream about that bald-headed Georgia fan who paints the dog on his head (I freakin LOVE that guy!).

The Vanderbilt Commodores comes to town and Georgia will be celebrating homecoming. I honestly don’t know what to think about Vanderbilt. They lost all-universe QB Jay Cutler to graduation, and they still have a pretty good wide receiver in Earl Bennett. But seriously, before I go on, Georgia beat Vandy last year WITH Jay Cutler. On their own turf. Vanderbilt may be one of the most respected colleges in the nation, but they have not had success fielding a winning football team. So I really don’t see a reason why the Dawgs can’t beat them between the hedges. But by now, a LOT of our questions will be answered. How good can (insert starting QB here) be? Is our defensive backfield even better than last year? Will our running backs Thomas Brown, Kregg Lumpkin and Danny Ware all return for their senior years? Ok, that last one will be a yes, but you get where I’m headed.

Oh, also. The seventh game will be the first meeting of the “Mark Richt Second Guesser’s Club”. You see, even though this man has proven himself a winner, conducted himself with class on and off the field, and raised the level of play at Georgia, there will be those who will be pissed off that there’s not more. Of course, some of this is Richt’s fault. He keeps winning and therefore we fans get greedy. Before he got here, the last SEC Championship trophy we got our hands on was halfway through Ronald Reagan’s FIRST term as president. Richt has won two in five years. This second guesser’s club will crowd the bars and chat rooms with cries of “He can’t manage the clock!” and “He’s not utilizing (insert player from the screamer’s hometown) enough on special teams!”

Look past these fools. The bad thing about diehard college football fans (and unfortunately, I’m one of them) is that we think we know EVERY-THING. Sure, we don’t have the football pedigree that Coach Richt does, and we don’t sit in on the meetings or watch practices. But we just KNOW what’s best for our team.

If you’re placing bets, put money on Mark Richt. Every. Single. Time.

Game Six: Redemption

October 7^th

Vs. University Of Tennessee (Athens, GA)

The redemption here could go either way. In 2005, the Tennessee Vols had one of the most disappointing years ever in college football. They had a preseason ranking of around #3 and many had them pegged to be in the national championship game by the end of the year. Starting with the UT/UGA game last year, the Vols went on to lose 5 of the next 6 games, they lost their best defender, Jason Allen, for the rest of their season, and they had a QB controversy in full swing. Coach Fulmer’s team ended up 5-6, missing out on a bowl game for the first time since….well as far back as I can remember. Wait, as far back as I care to remember. You see, I HATE the Vols.

I spent about 11 years in East Tennessee, and while I have fond memories of my life and times there, it was way too long being for a Dawg fan in Vol country. So I did enjoy their misery last year.

But it’s not about me. It’s about a UT team desperate to get out on the football field to prove that this was a travesty, an aberration. For the Dawgs, this will be a giant step in being able to prove that they belong every year, not just when the stars align. I don’t know anyone, Vol fan or not, who doesn’t think Tennessee will have a strong year. Let’s just hope they can field a team.

This is another game I can’t predict. The Vols have a tendency to lose the easy games, and win the ones they shouldn’t.

(Notice how I got through that without using the words, “probation” or “Drunken Cooter”?)

Game Five: The View

September 30^th

Vs. University Of Mississippi (in Oxford, MS)

If you ask any fan of an SEC school their favorite place to watch a football game, they will probably tell you their own school’s stadium. If they don’t, I’m pretty sure the laws in most states will allow you to slap them silly. Ask them their SECOND favorite place to watch a game, and they’ll probably tell you Oxford, Mississippi. I know what you’re thinking. Why? The Ole Miss Rebels haven’t been “in the hunt” for a while, what could be so special about being there? First off, they have LOTS of pretty women. Then there’s tailgaiting at the Grove. There’s the Mannings. I already mentioned pretty women, right? Tradition at Ole Miss means something to all SEC fans.

Recent football has been another issue. The Rebels record the last two years is 7-15. During those two years they ran off one “legend” (David Cutcliffe, now at UT) and brought in another (Ed Orgeron, mastermind behind the USC Trojans defensive line) Enter QB Brent Schaeffer. Two years ago at Tennessee, he was the first true freshmen to start an SEC opening game in a cajillion years. After some problems in Knoxville and a parting of ways with Coach Fulmer, he went to a couple of different junior colleges (I think one was named after a tree) and he’s FINALLY landed at Ole Miss. Schaeffer gives the Rebel offense instant credibility. And they’ve got a linebacker named Patrick Willis who could fend off a bull to go tackle a rhino. However, this is the SEC where depth matters. The Rebels are being projected around .500 or lower. As for the Dawgs, this is an away game and Schaeffer scares me. By the end of September, he could really be taking off and clicking on all cylinders.

Of course, so could Tereshinski. Or Joe Cox. Or Blake Barnes or Matthew Stafford. Dawgs win a squeaker with a solid running game

Game Four: The Test

September 23^rd

Vs. University Of Colorado (in Athens, GA)

If you don'’t know anything about college football, you STILL may have heard about the Colorado Buffaloes. Sexual harassment and rape, recruiting orgies, ethnic intimidation and I think they have managed to play some football in between. So, yeah, that coach was fired. New coach Dan Hawkins is very familiar with Georgia. He made a visit last September with his old team Boise State. Boise State was supposed to march into Athens and show how powerful a "“mid-major"” team is (mid-major - a team not in one of the BCS, er Big Boy conferences). That. Never. Happened. The Dawgs TROUNCED Hawkins'’ team and sent them back with a whimper. So what did Dan do? He got himself an upgrade job at a school with a football program that really needed cleaning up. Enter the new and improved Colorado Buffs. Sometimes, people just need a change of scenery and this year will be a change of scenery for the entire team. They did make it to the Big 12 Conference Championship Game for the second year in a row last year, but got their ass spanked 70-3 by Texas (throw that game out because teams like the 2005 Texas Longhorns don'’t come around very often). The Buffs are a solid team with a new coach out to prove something. This game will get some national attention because many college football fans outside the south think that the SEC teams don't play any "“good" non-conference teams (Of course we counter with "We can't! We'’re too busy beating each other up!'). A lot of people will be watching to see how an SEC powerhouse matches up with a Big 12 powerhouse. Then, of course this will spark intellectual debates ('“You guys SUCK!' 'No YOU guys suck!'”). I think we will win only because the Buffs have more questions than we do. Oh, and it'’s in Athens.

Political Correctness or Decency?

This argument is going to be more prevalent in the next few years, so it’s time for you to decide where you stand on this. Recently, Connecticut passed a bill that would penalize high school football coaches whose teams win by more than fifty points. The idea was born out of a problem between two coaches there, one who complained about another running up the score (keep on scoring even after the game’s outcome has reasonably been decided). There is a gentleman’s rule in most sports to “call off the dogs”, meaning that if it’s obvious that your team is going to win, you’re not going to go balls out and make a mockery of the game. To be honest, this is not really a problem in the professional ranks. If it’s clear that the Dolphins are going to beat the Saints easily, the coach is probably going to take out his starters (typically the best players) so they won’t get hurt in a meaningless play, and put in the back up players to get experience. College sports are a little different. Some football teams still run up the score for different reasons. If a team hasn’t beaten a rival in a long time, they may want to “send a message”. Some college coaches are trying to make a statement to those who vote on the rankings and a good beating will sometimes do that.

I personally like the rule that Connecticut instituted. And please, before you judge me, let me present the other side of the argument. Many “A” type personality people will counter with this argument: ‘If you’re not going to play to win, why are you playing’. I think that’s a very valid argument. And believe me, there are times I feel this way. In the above paragraph, when I talked about calling off the dogs, I had a tough time finishing the sentence, “meaning that if it’s obvious that your team is going to win, you’re not going to……”. What is appropriate word for QUITTING? But if the point is truly to win the game every single time, and you’ve already accomplished that, why risk injury to your players by running up the score? And how would you feel if it happened to you? A little background on me – I was never the one sitting on the bench. I have played on teams that won and teams that lost. I was the type of player who made the all-star team, but wasn’t the best one on THAT team. So don’t assume that I’m a non-athletic, liberal pansy who’s out to make everyone happy.

My BIGGEST problem is that the “win at all costs” attitude has permeated youth recreational sports. I talk to people who feel that if you suck at baseball, you shouldn’t go out for the team. One guy actually said, “If you can’t stand sitting on the bench, go take up piano”. Nice. So, children’s organized sports are now only for the talented. I guess if the less talented kids want to play organized sports they’ll have to go start their own league. Maybe get some umpires, uniforms, the whole bit. Um, wait. Isn’t that what we already have?

Listen, if you’re kid is a phenomenal athlete, good for you. If he or she is level-headed then they will shine throughout school and beyond. A ten-year old soccer league is not the time for them to exercise their dominance over other ten-year olds. It’s a time to learn how to play the game, how to be a teammate, and how sports relate to life. And let’s face it, for many kids, high school is the last true good time of our lives.

Dissecting the Bible

I find this verse one of the most interesting in the Bible:

Romans 13:1-7 (New International Version)

1Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. 2Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. 3For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you. 4For he is God's servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing. He is God's servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. 5Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience. 6This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God's servants, who give their full time to governing. 7Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.

Read it two or three times. George Bush, Bill Clinton? These guys are God’s servants? I wonder if Kenneth Starr is going straight to hell for finding the “stained dress”. “For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but those who do wrong”. Does that apply to Fidel Castro? This is one of those verses that we all use to make our point about something, but we don’t want it to apply to something else. And our Bible is CHOCK full of them, baby. And on another note, I’m pretty sure that God did not assemble our current City Council here in Roanoke. He must have been busy overseeing another election and let these morons slip in.

Sidenote: The QB Race

The big question for Dawg fans is who will be the quarterback at the start of the season. And a large percentage still ask who will be the QB by the 3^rd game, but that’s another story. Think of the quarterback as the babysitter. Who do you want to leave your kids with? Someone who says ‘yes ma’am’ and ‘yes sir’ or someone who has piercings in their private parts? The Dawgs’ last two QB’s were the kind of guys you want your own kids to grow up to be. David Greene and DJ Shockley were good guys and great QB’s.

This year’s choices include:

Joe Tereshinski, III (ter-uh-shin-ski), a senior, third generation Bulldog who is probably tired of hearing how loyal he is. While it’s true he pales in comparison to Shockley athletically, he’s taken some unnecessary heat just for being there. Personally, I think he’s tough as nails and extremely smart. He’s been playing on the punt team for the last couple of years just letting people plow into him. I’m betting that he’s a pretty good quarterback, too. You don’t get to be #1 on the depth chart at a perennial Top 10 program by default (………no you don’t!) More than likely, Joe starts the first game. There’s a small contingent of fans rooting very hard for this guy. Those not rooting for him will point to last year’s Florida game as evidence he is not the successor to Shockley (he started that one game when Shockley was injured). They seem to forget that Shockley had a bad game vs Georgia Tech in ’04 when Greene was hurt. Call Joe the ‘sentimental favorite’.

Blake Barnes, a redshirt sophomore. (note: A redshirt basically means that when the player first showed up to campus as a freshman, the coach looked at him and said, “There is no way in hell you’re playing this year.” So they can practice with the team, learn the game, use the Playstation in the locker room [seriously] and they will still have four more years to be eligible to play) Barnes has not impressed many people outside of the coaching staff. And let’s remember, despite what you hear down at the local watering hole, the head coach’s opinion is the only one that matters. Barnes seems to be the odd man out, but he looks great holding a clipboard. Having said that, he’s the only QB other than Tereshinski that has seen any action in a college game.

Joe Cox, redshirt freshman. Joe’s big plus was that he was the Scout team QB last year. That means he pretended to be the QB’s of each of the teams we played in ’05. In the spring game earlier this year, Joe must have still thought he was Jared Zabransky of Boise State, because he threw four interceptions. Joe’s strength is passing accuracy, despite what happened at the spring game. He holds a bunch of high school records in North Carolina. He’s probably still learning a little, but should be ready to go. I have yet to see if he can scramble – not that it’s important. David Greene could barely outrun Joe Paterno, but he’s the all-time winningest QB in 1-A history.

Matthew Stafford, freshman. If you look up ‘hype’ in the dictionary, you’ll find, “Excessive publicity and the ensuing commotion”. We are now in the ‘ensuing commotion’ phase of Matthew’s arrival on campus. He was one of the most sought after quarterbacks in the nation, and rightfully so. The kid from Texas can flat out play. How big a deal is it that he signed with Georgia? When a UGA golfer went to the White House to meet President “Don’t Mess with Texas” Bush, Dubya pressed him, “You guys stole one of our players……..” Most fans are clamoring for him to play. If not now, then by the 3^rd or 4^th game. The latest pictures of him are not flattering. Looks like he’s got a small spare tire around his waist. Obviously the strength and conditioning program will take care of that, but DAMN what’s that boy been eating? Anyway, do you let your daughter go out on dates starting when she’s 14 or when she’s 18? It depends on her maturity, right? And whether or not the guy has his private parts pierced. It’s up to the coaches to gauge maturity. And scan for piercings.

Game Three: The Tune-Up/Trip-Up

September 16^th

Vs. University of Alabama-Birmingham (in Athens, GA)

I hope no one forgets that in 2003, this Blazer team marched into Athens and lost to Georgia by three measley points. This was supposed to be a walkover game, but as I recall, we got beat up pretty bad. And last year, they almost beat Tennessee. (Ok, that wasn’t that big a deal after all – cue drum roll – thanks, I’m here all night). Gone is Mr. All-World Quarterback, Darrell Hackney. I have no idea who is taking the reins for the Blazers this year and I don’t care. Even though the Blazers won’t be as good this year, there is no way the Dawgs take this game lightly. Get a lead, rotate in some of the back ups, and get out of there without getting banged up. This is the type of game that makes tail-gaiting much easier, it allows some young guns to step up, and it makes it easier to leap-frog someone in the national rankings. By now the QB situation should be somewhat clearer (see today’s sidenote). Also we’ll know if our defensive secondary (the last line of guys between the the ball and our goal line) will be the best ever or just incredibly over-hyped. And in turn, we’ll know if I need to stop listening to all those morons on the Dawg fan pages.

Sidenote: Living in Spurrier’s shadow

There’s a fine line between disdain and awe. I have both for South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier. I have literally been hearing his name since I was in the 7^th grade. Even though he is almost 20 years older than me, and out paths have never crossed, I’m well aware of who he is. Years before my father was the minister at Mars Hill Presbyterian Church in Athens, TN, his father, Graham, held the same position. After graduating from high school in Athens, I went to East Tennessee State University in Johnson City, TN. Spurrier was a three-sport star at Science Hill High School there. This was in the late eighties and those people up there were STILL bitter than he went to the University of Florida instead of the University of Tennessee. By the time I graduated from ETSU, my folks had moved back to Georgia. And now, he was busy turning around a very lame Duke University football program and everyone in Atlanta lamented on how former Georgia Tech coach Bill Curry had fired Spurrier from the Tech staff. The common statement from Tech fans was “now look what Steve’s doing. Wish we still had him”. (Personally, I think it’s funny. Curry was, I mean, is, a moron). In 1989, Spurrier was asked to come back to his alma mater, Florida, to take the helm. At this point he began a domination of my beloved Georgia Bulldogs that is difficult to comprehend. I moved to Virginia in 1993, but the pain followed. In 2001, apparently just to piss me off, he left his stunned Gators behind to take the head coaching job right up the road from me in DC. The Washington Redskins. My in-laws are Redskins fans, but I knew there was no way I would secretly root for them with Spurrier coaching. Lucky for me he failed miserably, compiling a 12-20 record (and earning cool $10 million in the process). So I would just ASSUME he would go off into the sunset and indulge his first passion – golf. But no, what does he do? He takes the vacant head coach job at the University of South Carolina, a football program stuck in mediocrity, but with a great stadium and great fans (who seem to have an optimism that defies reason). The fact that South Carolina is in the same division as Georgia will insure that the Dawgs will see Steve every………..single……….year.

How long will this man torment me?

Game Two: The SEC Opener

September 9^th

Vs. South Carolina (in Columbia, SC)

You remember the guy in high school who was good at everything? He had brains, athletic ability, all that stuff? Ok, now, remember the guy who was a loudmouth? Always making wisecracks and pissing people off? And remember the overbearing athlete, the one who would sell his sweet old grandmother to win a game? Combine all three of these and you have Steve Spurrier. Spurrier, who is arguably one of the most gifted college coaches ever, roamed the sidelines at his alma mater Florida for a little over a decade. He raised the bar on coaching and revolutionized offense in the SEC. In the process, he made clever/snide comments about his coaching brethren. He also owned Georgia, losing just once in twelve years to the Dawgs. So you understand my bitterness. By now you’re asking yourself, “Hey, long-winded Bulldog guy, what’s this got to do with September 9^th?” Spurrier, (aka “Ballcoach”, “Evil Genius”, “Darth Visor”, or “Steve Superior”) is now coaching the South Carolina Gamecocks. And even though he’s got a much harder gig at USC, and we beat them last year, this game could go either way. It could go either way every year, but it usually goes the Dawgs’ way. The Gamecocks are Susan Lucci, that soap opera actress that lost 361 straight times at the Daytime Emmys. Great fans, nice facilities, but always coming up short and looking forward to next year. A win against us and the Gamecocks will be beating their chests loudly, proclaiming that they have finally arrived. It could also mean that Georgia will begin the rally cry for a new QB. (I’ll get to that later). Georgia fans are hanging our hats on the fact that we have our own genius coach who can win every year. South Carolina fans are hanging their hopes on Spurrier, even though he can’t easily pluck top notch recruits from the talent-rich state of Florida. He did turn around the football program at Duke University, which is the equivalent of giving Dog the Bounty Hunter a make over and having him take home top prize in a beauty contest. So September 9^th should be very interesting. I make no prediction except that Spurrier will throw his visor because the game will be on national TV and he’s the master at giving the people what they want.

Disturbing Similarities

I saw this and it bothered me. If you ever watched "The Wire" on HBO, you probably learned a good deal about the inner workings of street level drug trade. Guy walks up, pays one guy some cash. Cashier holds up one, two or three fingers to someone else based how much the guy bought. Second person then signals to someone else to bring the buyer around to pick up the drugs. Very effecient and everyone does their job.
For several months there has been a 8 or 9 year old girl selling brownies in high traffic neighborhood that I drive through to and from work. She has the exact same set up. She stands on the corner of her lot, and holds up the sign that boasts 50 cent brownies. There are places that the cars can pull over to make the buy. She yells back down to the house how many brownies and someone goes inside and brings them up to an adjacent corner.
The similarities are what's keeping me from buying anything. I'm afraid I would stop and say, "hi sweetie, I'd like two brownies..........." Then she would peer into the car as she took my dollar, glance around for the cops and say, "drive to the end of the gravel, C-Lo will have your package."

The 2006 Georgia Football Schedule for the Uneducated: The Series

Let’s just say you HATE college football. You don’t understand this multi-billion dollar industry, you don’t understand why certain people won’t attend weddings in the fall or why they paint logos on the tops of their toilets. Let’s just say you don’t understand the fascination. Well, I don’t understand YOU. Seriously, you’re making me ill. However, because you seem to WANT to understand the rabid hysteria and have read this far, I’m going to break down Georgia’s football schedule for you. Grab some Funions and a Fresca, cause this will take a while (by the way, don’t get Funion crunchies on the mouse – that grease will stay there for……….ever.

Game One: The Home Opener

September 2

Vs. Western Kentucky (in Athens, GA)

Georgia (here fore referred to as the “Dawgs”) starts their football season at home vs. the Western Kentucky Hilltoppers. WKU is an I-AA team (Georgia is I-A), meaning they generally have less resources (war chest of cash) and personnel (WKU’s coaching job is a stepping stone to Georgia’s). It’s like Texas invading Rhode Island. Before you feel sorry for WKU, please note that they just began a $37.5 million expansion on their own football stadium. How do they get that money? Well, first all, Western Kentucky is a fine university. They’ve had some big names attend there - Director John Carpenter, NFL coach Romeo Crennel, and the drummer for the Black Crowes, whose name I already forgot. Second, WKU gets a good chunk of cash just for showing up in Athens. In theory, the Dawgs get to start their season warming up against a less worthy opponent, and WKU gets to play in front of 92, 000 red & black clad maniacs and take home a big check. But it doesn’t always work like that. Oddly enough, the Hilltoppers will also want to WIN THE GAME. So we just CAN’T take these guys lightly. You saw “Miracle on Ice”? “Karate Kid”? “Rocky 4”? (Ok, that’s a stretch). It can happen. But let’s just say for argument that the Dawgs are MUCH better than the Hilltoppers. The fans will want a score of about 80-3 to represent a true shellacking of the opponent. The thing is, Georgia’s coach, Mark Richt, is a fine man and doesn’t really “run up the score” on other teams. Thus the immediate second guessing begins. Most die-hard fans (like me) are really stupid. We are CERTAIN we could call a better game than the man who is most qualified to do so. But a win is a win, so we move forward. Now we just sit and wait for the rankings to come out on Sunday afternoon. It’s like a Broadway director staying up until the wee hours of the morning waiting for the review of his just-released play. There are stats that back up the fact that Georgia’s football team is generally ranked lower than it should be. But we’re used to that.

Oh, and uh………..a loss to Western Kentucky? I don’t even want to broach the subject.

Next up, the Dawgs travel to Columbia, SC to face the University of South Carolina Gamecocks. Sooooooo many story lines there………….

The unavoidable intro

Let me make this perfectly clear. I didn't WANT to do this. Someone made me. Not because I'm a student or anything. It was more, "hey, Brian, you should really put your thoughts down somewhere." Fine. If I do this, ya reckon they'll leave me alone?
Closing in on 40, married father of two, blah blah blah. You're not gonna read it, so I'm not gonna insult you by typing it. You wanna know what I'm into.
I love college football. The Georgia Bulldogs. And ever since Al Gore invented the internet, I've been able to follow them more closely since I no longer reside in Georgia. I'm one of those fervent fans that can recite the three-deep depth chart.
I have found somewhat that the internet has taken the place of my love for TV. But I do still watch Scrubs, Family Guy, and My Name is Earl. If I can make it until Saturday night past 11:30, I'll nod off during Saturday Night Live's monologue.
Love softball, golf, HATE lawnwork. I used to manage a music store so I have a lot of CD's to listen to.
I spend a good bit of time involved with church activities. I'll complain a lot about it, but then I think back to Moses and all he had to contend with to even GET Christianity started.
God: Moses, come on, it's time to take the people to find the promised land
Moses: Aw, come on, God. I REALLY didn't want to start anything until next year.
God: Moses, I have chosen you for a really important job. Besides, you're brother's gonna be there, he'll help out.
Moses: Ok, I'll go. But this isn't gonna take long, is it?
God: Um......not as far as I'm concerned.........

I also avail myself to my kids' activities out of pure interest. I just want to know what they're doing. Therefore I coach softball and soccer, keep books for the PTA, and stock the concession stand down at the ball field. That way I can hover around my kids without.....seeming.......like I'm hovering.
By the way, coaching kids' sports is like being in the mafia. There is no getting out. I take that back, you can get out, but you have to be beaten out. You know those "arches" that soccer moms' make as their kids run off the field? If you want out, you have to run through that while the parents of Britney and Blake beat you with cell phones, mini-van keys and digital camcorders. It's just WAY easier to suck it up and coach.
Ok, this was long. I think I'm supposed to edit my page now. If I could, I would put little bulldogs all over it.
Two months til kick off, baby...............