Repost if......

I'm really tired of Facebook "friends" asking me to repost a message or picture if I'm against child abuse or breast cancer. I thought we agreed a long time ago, as a society, that those things were bayd M'kay? Rather, let's ask someone to repost if they are PRO child abuse/breast cancer, then go beat the crap outta that guy. Better yet, close out Facebook, get off your butt and go volunteer at an orphanage. I mean, since your concerned about the kids and all.
Also, drug testing every welfare recipient in this country won't save us $. It will, however, make drug testing labs very rich.
So repost if you are too lazy to look up facts or inaction suits you well.

How did we get this collectively stupid?

Manny, Jon & Kate

Every once in awhile, you have to get some stuff off your chest. Today is that day.

Manny Ramirez was suspended 50 games by Major League Baseball for a failed drug test on May 7th. As I understand it, he had something in his system that is known to help you “come down” after taking steroids for an extended period – yet it’s a women’s fertility drug. I don’t completely get it and don’t care. He took something he wasn’t supposed to, came up with a lame excuse as to why, and has to sit out until July 3rd. Or does he?
Yet yesterday, Ramirez started his “rehab” assignment in Albuquerque, NM, the Dodgers’ Triple-A affiliate.. Now typically, rehab assignments (when major league players are sent to the minor leagues) are for those times when a player has been on the disabled list, and needs to ease back into the job. If he’s suspended, why does he get to play at all? Why should he be able to “ease back into the job” if he was using a banned substance – one that follows a performance enhancing drug? I’m sure this is just something that MLB Players Union Prez Donald Fehr had written in their contracts. Way to teach ‘em a lesson, Don. And so long.

Let me explain that I do not watch Jon & Kate Plus Eight. I never have. I’m only familiar with it because the trials and tribulations of this family pound the media like a gulf coast hurricane. Go to the front page of any news channel online and BOOM, I guarantee you, Jon or Kate are there. I’m not sure it’s ever been this heightened before with family reality shows. I really don’t remember seeing the news THAT saturated with the Osbornes. But regardless, we seem to be fascinated with the Gosselins.
And now they are splitting up.

REALLY? You whored your children out to national TV for money, enjoying the voyeuristic tendencies of those who love to see bad things happen to other people (face it, why else do you watch reality shows?), and then thought you could sneak around on your wife – even though you knew the cameras would still be rolling? OMG, are you that stupid? I don’t feel sorry for either one of them. I feel sorry for those kids. For the rest of their lives, they will be known as “one of the eight”. And they will be reminded that, for a wad of cash, their parents allowed cameras to capture the slow destruction of whatever family bond they had. You may think Kate is a bitch and that Jon is a bad father. But the clue was there long before they split up. It was evident the moment they signed the contract to allow cameras in their home.

Shattered Innocence

Well, it finally happened. No, wait. It happened for the second time. I equate the end of my childhood with Dale Murphy being traded from the Atlanta Braves. This took place in 1990, when I was 23. Granted, Murphy was not my favorite player of all time (that honor goes to Hank Aaron), but he was one of the last great athletes to revere. My buddy Scott Sergent, who was an intern with the Braves, called me at work to tell me. I was managing a music store at the time, so I had to be strong for my employees. But I did cry that night. Time to move on, time to grow up. I eventually forgave Tom Glavine for throwing at Murphy during a game a year later. It was retaliatory – he HAD to do it. Even the pitch was symbolic. Murphy knew it was coming and the ball was thrown about 30 mph. After the game, Murphy said he didn’t take it personally and Glavine didn’t even want to talk about it. That’s the kind of respect Murphy garnered.

This time though, my faith in our justice system took the big blow. I always believed that the prosecutors were the good guys and the defense attorneys were the bad guys. Defense attorneys can lie and spin like crazy; prosecutors HAVE to find and tell the truth. But if you’re like me, you want to beat Nifong with a lacrosse stick. You and I both know that he will be on the $10,000/hr lecture circuit next year.

Lucky for me, tomorrow I’m going to the happiest place on earth. No, not Charlize Theron’s pillow – Disneyworld. Maybe that will get me back on track.

Things I’m not afraid to say that aren’t popular

I like Billy Ray Cyrus. I have more than one of his CD’s.

I think Sandra Bernhard is hot

I’m glad that the FIU football team finally stood up to the Miami Hurricanes and fought them. I’m sick of the Miami’s thuggery.

Reality TV has taken the place of Pro Wrestling. People who watch it regularly are more likely to be complete dumbasses.

Illegal immigrants aren't the ones who need to be thrown in jail. People who HIRE illegal immigrants do.

Double backlash

Please understand that I know I’m petty. I know that I think things I shouldn’t, but here’s the deal. So do you. Yes, you do.

I’m ready for double backlash. Backlash has passed us by, and I’m tired of it. A backlasher is someone who antagonizes popular notions, people and hotbed stories by degrading them. You know the guy I’m talking about. He buys the newest form of technology as soon as it’s available, then when the next generation comes out he’s trashing the first thing he bought. He points out how bad the #1 song on the Billboard chart is. He wants you to understand just how hip he is, how anti-culture he is. He should have a t-shirt that says, “Please listen to me, I’m lonely.”
Understand that this is not an indictment of someone who doesn’t like everything popular, but of those who go out of their way to ruin it for everyone else.

Examples of backlash:
Hating the hot new TV show (Friends, Desperate Housewives, etc)
Parents hating that their kids love Barney
Making fun of Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, or any cute pop singer
Complaining about Mexicans taking all of our jobs in the US
Stating that you knew Lance Bass of NSync was gay
Repeating the story you heard about a guy who bought some groceries with food stamps and then got into his brand new Mercedes Benz.
Shouting above the music that Van Halen was better with David Lee Roth
People who complain about children in restaurants and airplanes.
White, male Christians who are “persecuted”.

You know what the problem is? Backlash people generally have more than a few mean bones in their body. Nice people don’t spend time on double backlash. I’d like to be that spokesperson.

So here’s a few things I’D like to see:
Barney pimp-slapping a soccer mom and leaving a dent in her minivan.
Britney Spears telling Kid Rock “You know what? You’re right. I lip sync cutesy pop songs and you’re ugly. But I can always write different songs, you skank”
Someone using food stamps at the grocery store, then turning around to everyone who was staring at them in line to say, “Don’t worry. I’m walking home, bitch!”
A three year old taking a dump on the lap top of the business traveler who insists on taking up three chairs at the Airport.

That’s double backlash and I’m ready for it.