Thursday, September 13, 2007

I Don’t Make Predictions, Week 3

Let’s just pick some games at random. Turns out, I have a few predictions after all.

*#4 West Virginia at Maryland- You will see highlights of Pat White and Steve Slaton NON STOP from Thursday night at 10pm until 7:59pm Friday evening. It's a new ESPN programming law.
*North Carolina will drub Virginia and we still won't know how good the Tarheels are. The Cavaliers are bad. Michigan bad.
*Georgia will not beat Western Carolina by more than 30 points because Richt never runs up the score, he only runs out the clock. Despite this, opposing fans will point to Alabama's 52-6 drubbing of the Catamounts as proof that the Dawgs suck.
*The Tennessee/Florida matchup will not go the way you think it will.
*Thousands of TV viewers will order whatever package has ESPNU on Saturday morning JUST to see if a football game breaks out in the Miami/FIU fight.
*The Notre Dame/ Michigan game will, despite being a total suckfest, harbor the most attention EVER for a matchup between 0-2 teams. The game will feature many injuries - broken nails, menstrual cramps, and pillow sheet burns. .
*New Hampshire is going to kill Marshall. Ok, ok, that was bad
*The Arkansas/Alabama matchup WILL go the way you think it will.
*The Louisville/Kentucky game will have the most offensive output (and least defensive resistance) EVER in a college football game by two teams. I see 1400 yards of offense total, easy.
*Bill Callahan will forget that he's in Nebraska and call USC the 'stupidest team on earth'.
*Florida State is traveling to Colorado for a DIVISION ONE FOOTBALL GAME, BROTHER! THIS AIN'T INTRA MURALS!!!

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